Tuesday, January 24, 2006

 

Once I saw a guy trying to throw himself off of a bridge.
So I told him:
– Don’t do that!
– No one loves me – he said.
– God loves you. Do you believe in God?
– I do – he said.
– Are you Christian or Muslim?
– Christian.
– Me too! – I said. – Protestant or Roman Catholic?
– Protestant.
– Me too! Which denomination?
– Baptist.
– Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?
– Southern Baptist.
– Caramba, me too! Regular Southern Baptist or Liberal Southern Baptist?
– Regular Southern Baptist – he said.
– Me too! Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist or General Regular Southern Baptist?
– Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist.
– Me too! Prophetic Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist or Anointed Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist?
– Anointed Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist.
– Then DIE, heathen! – and pushed the folk off the cliff.

Here’s another one:
When I was a kid I used to pray all night long asking God for a bicycle, till the day I realized that was not the way God works. So I went and stole a bicycle and asked God to forgive me. And it worked!!!!

Any idiot can paint a picture, It takes a genius to sell it.

Everything is relative. How much a minute lasts depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.

If it gets stuck, force it. If it breaks, it had to be changed anyways.

To steal ideas of one person is to plagiarize. To steal several people’s ideas is to do academic research.

I owe so much that if I call some one my own ...the bank will take him away!

Everything in life is relative – one hair on your head is little; on your soup is too much!!!!

I want to die like my grandfather; calmly sleeping … And not screaming desperately, like the 40 passengers of the bus he was driving!

Tell me who your companies are… I will tell you if I am coming along.

I dig, you dig, he/she/it digs, we dig, you dig, they dig. It is not beautiful, but it sure is deep.

To err is human. To blame someone else is twice as human.

posted by Anonymous 6:07 PM

 

Once I saw a guy trying to throw himself off of a bridge. So I told him: – Don’t do that! – No one loves me – he said. – God loves you. Do you believe in God? – I do – he said. – Are you Christian or Muslim? – Christian. – Me too! – I said. – Protestant or Roman Catholic? – Protestant. – Me too! Which denomination? – Baptist. – Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist? – Southern Baptist. – Caramba, me too! Regular Southern Baptist or Liberal Southern Baptist? – Regular Southern Baptist – he said. – Me too! Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist or General Regular Southern Baptist? – Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist. – Me too! Prophetic Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist or Anointed Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist? – Anointed Pioneer Regular Southern Baptist. – Then DIE, heathen! – and pushed the folk off the cliff. Here’s another one: When I was a kid I used to pray all night long asking God for a bicycle, till the day I realized that was not the way God works. So I went and stole a bicycle and asked God to forgive me. And it worked!!!! Any idiot can paint a picture, It takes a genius to sell it. Everything is relative. How much a minute lasts depends on which side of the bathroom door you are. If it gets stuck, force it. If it breaks, it had to be changed anyways. To steal ideas of one person is to plagiarize. To steal several people’s ideas is to do academic research. I owe so much that if I call some one my own ...the bank will take him away! Everything in life is relative – one hair on your head is little; on your soup is too much!!!! I want to die like my grandfather; calmly sleeping … And not screaming desperately, like the 40 passengers of the bus he was driving! Tell me who your companies are… I will tell you if I am coming along. I dig, you dig, he/she/it digs, we dig, you dig, they dig. It is not beautiful, but it is deep. To err is human. To blame someone else is twice as human.

posted by Anonymous 6:07 PM